ALL-TIME ASTRAL TEAMS (aka ZODIAC LEAGUE)/8: CANCER

The Zodiac League steams onward into the freakier regions of the ecliptic...in this case, Cancer the Crab, where emotions (according to the literature, anyway) are both highly intense and terribly tucked in.

As the charts will show, there is a lot of depth to be found in the Sign of the Crab (and there's a lot of room for a sabermetric parody of astrology...or vice versa, n'est-ce pas? Sorry, as the Man in the Big Suit says, got no time for that now). A lot of "might have been Hall of Famers but for..." here, which means that when they're on, you're getting more peak performance.

But it's hard to say whether this will translate on the field (or, should we say, on to a simulated field). To get the most out of this team, you might have to play the games one-by-one...which is not something that the masters of dissing simulation and "press the button and go out for coffee" tend to favor.

There are six Hall of Fame pitchers, and one or two more who might make it in the distant future (C.C. Sabathia and Tim Hudson). There are several really good "almost" or "should be" HOFers (Dave Stieb, George Mullin, Jesse Tannehill), so the "B" team looks to have a shot at having one of the more effective pitching staffs in the "lower league."

But we do have to do some adjusting to get the "A" team into competitive shape. When we do that, here's what we get for a starting lineup:

Lou Boudreau, ss; Jim Edmonds, lf; Joe Jackson, rf; Roger Connor, 1b; Harmon Killebrew, 3b; Andre Dawson, cf; Joe Torre, c; Billy Herman, 2b.

Swamped, dammit!!!

The starting rotation (we still like the six-man, just because we can) is a blend of old and new:

Carl Hubbell; John Clarkson; Mickey Welch; Stan Coveleski; Dave Stieb; C.C. Sabathia

The relievers:

Goose Gossage; Sparky Lyle; Eddie Fisher; Ed Roebuck; Javier Lopez; Enrique Romo

A very interesting team. Will it win anything? We've got to admit, we like its chances.

We'll come back in a bit and fill in the "B" team for you--we are swamped right now on other projects.

[EDIT: OK, back to the "B" team after a whole lotta shakin' and movie screening (see link for details).

Here is the lineup/batting order we'd go with for the Cancer "B's":

Willie Randolph, 2b; Derek Jeter, ss; Ken Williams, rf: Carlos Delgado, 1b; Pedro Guerrero, 3b; Babe Herman, lf; Heinie Manush, cf; Yadier Molina, c.

The rotation: George Mullin; Jesse Tannehill; Tim Hudson; Jack Quinn; Frank Tanana; Lee Meadows.

The bullpen: Doug Jones; Joe Sambito; Al Hrabosky; Brendan Donnelly; Jack Aker; Ken Sanders.

That outfield will be quite an adventure...you'll be seeing a LOT of Willie Wilson as a defensive replacement. But it's another interesting team...one that will hit a lot better than one might first think.]