Sunday, May 5, 2013

YUNIESKY (!!!) ... & ADEINY (!!!!)

Ever since Yuniesky had the Nike logo embossed into his
forehead, he's been a beast--I tell you, a beast...
Law of Murphy's second-hand sample size...since singling him out for some of our seemingly inexhaustible supply of scorn, Yunieksy Betancourt has hit 6 HRs and slugged .587. That puts him into the running for this year's John Freakin' Mabry Award, which began in 2002 when the A's dumped herbulant party boy Jeremy Giambi off to the Phils and suddenly had Mabry hit .400 for the next month.

And, speaking of Philly, Roy Halladay's march to the Hall of Fame has suddenly come up smack against the Alps, thanks to another shockingly poor outing today...startling in no small way due to the opponent that roughed him up to the tune of nine earned runs in 2 1/3 innings. (Roy's ERA for the '13 campaign now stands at an unsightly 8.65.)

Who is that opponent? Why, it's our friends the Fish, who are finding unlikely ways to push their R/G average up toward three. Today's hero is not Giancarlo "Dusty" Stanton, who went on the DL after he went down for the count on the basepaths late last week.

There it opposite-field grand salami for
vegan wunderkind Adeiny Hechavarria...
Instead, it's the just-reactiviated Adeiny Hechavarria, the young shortstop who came over in the grand frying-pan-into-the-fire sale with the Blue Jays during the offseason. (The Jays received a lot of front-line talent in that deal, and traded for R.A. Dickey, who seems to have left his knuckleball on Mt. Kilamanjaro: it's now not certain if they will be able to keep their won-loss record ahead of the team that they so assiduously "fleeced.")

Today, at least, fans of the new, improved Fish Fillets--we've lightly dusted that old '98 nickname, added a hint of tarragon and chipotle, and set our blowtorch to "blue-blacken" (since teal is, alas, no longer an option down in Fishland...)--will be able to forget all about the high-priced spread, since Hechavarria has driven in seven runs thus far in the game.

Yep, two bases-clearing blows--a triple and a homer. Wonder if anyone has ever hit for the cycle with each at-bat occurring with the bases you think that might just be the Holy Grail for a hitter? Think it's ever been accomplished? We'd love someone to calculate the odds of such a feat...

...but if anyone is likely to do it right now, it's either Adeiny (a couple more ABs still to come in Philly)...or, of course...Yuniesky.